Frenzal Rhomb - Meet The Family 1. Mum Changed The Locks 2. Mr. Charisma 3. There's Your Dad 4. Racist 5. Ship of Beers 6. Be Still My Beating Off 7. I Hate My Brain 8. The Ballad Of Tim Webster 9. U.S.Anus 10. Constable Care 11. (That's) Just Not Legal 12. Hakimashita 13. Genitals Are Funny 14. All Your Friends 15. Beaded Curtains (Part Two) 16. Beaded Curtains (Part Three) 17. Guns Don't Kill Ducklings (Ducklings Kill Ducklings) 18. You Can't Move Into My House 1. Mum Changed The Locks ------------------------------------------------------------ Returning home, I look forward to the thrill Of another lecture or another pointless drill. Ascend the front steps dreading further war Why the fuck is my key not fitting in the door? I guess I'm not wanted, I wonder what I'll do I've already been banned from my friends houses too. I wonder what I did to make my mum so mad No perfect homelife but the only one I had. Oh my god, mum changed the locks. Now I've got my freedom but no place to go No prospects or money to go to a show. I haven't got on well with my mum all year Can't use the phone to call my friends for a beer 2. Mr. Charisma ------------------------------------------------------------ When he walks into the room men sit up and women swoon Everybody murmers "He's here" He's the most important guy never stop to wonder why He's always got so much to say He's so cool, he makes the rules Many witty anecdotes one day he will surely choke on a story far away he's so cool he'll never die, makes us laugh and makes us cry If only he'd promised to stay home He's the man He's the man for us He's Mr., Mr. Charisma We see him every other day, he's another world away We could hang with him all the time He's too perfect to be true, I can doubt but so would you patiently I'm waiting to find out What's behind....that sickly smile He's Mr., Mr. Charisma Well I went to your brother but your brother lied He said what you see on the outside is what you get inside I said, I'd like to believe it but I have my doubts and I think he might be evil but I wouldn't want to shout about it He's so strange He's quite deranged He's Mr., Mr. Charisma 3. There's Your Dad ------------------------------------------------------------ We're on line and we're fine but we're out of time not a crime, it's a sign by the grace of god goes I could it be that you see one of your family insanity affecting the paternity of your family tree there's your dad look at him over there, he's looking sad. getting round, round the town, now you're going down to that place it's the case you barely recognise the face There he is, looking in to the garbage bin with a grin, he's not so thin. Could it be, that it's plain to see... a lobotomy there's your dad look at him over there, he's looking sad. there's your dad why don't you go and talk to him, he's not that bad DAD if you haven't the time when he's running wild to to confide in the man that has got the master plan well you won't be alone you'll have kids of your own and then what's to be said when you have to rest your head on a newspaper bed 4. Racist ------------------------------------------------------------ I get tired of finding out, that what you think is given in the best relationships is just a pile of shit Well I get tired of finding out that what you take for granted is thrown back in your face Sometimes it seems too late. To educate when there's a national debate, on an issue that appears to be so straight-forward and you say it's alright, but it's not alright, it's not alright. To ignore is to condone it if you think about it don't shut up. You might as well be speaking at the next one nation meeting. And everytime you have a pointless dickhead relating another unfunny ignorant joke based on pigment you should say That belongs in yesterday. Start today you can say it's not OK, don't go along for the ride well it's not too late for you to say when they say that it's alright well it's not alright, it's not alright Some of my best friends are racist. I'm not racist but... I get tired of finding out that what you take for granted is thrown back into your face. What a fucking waste. Please don't feed me that old bullshit of the whispering of the soul, you must be dreaming 'cause my soul is screaming to shutup you reactionary fuck 5. Ship of Beers ------------------------------------------------------------ I've never been the type to travel on the sea without at least a pint to keep me company never in my dreams did I imagine that a vessel of this nature existed for our pleasure, it's so hard to believe that we will embark and to sail the open seas all the while we will be accompanied by a sense of well-being and a million lagers Sail away on this ship of beers The sea is getting rough, but we're oblivious to the danger of the savage force of this tremendous raging beast, we're lying down below and dreaming of the land where the trees are shaped like cans and we're wholly confident of this craft and our inevitable descent along with the crew and captain I suspect are sinking down into a drunken stupor. Sail away Something must be wrong the sea is very angry now it won't be long 'till Davy Jones can claim me - hopefully he'll fell like a cleansing ale after all he's only human. Sail away on this ship of beers 6. Be Still My Beating Off ------------------------------------------------------------ If it's easier to discuss this privately without you dad the minister who doesn't take kindly to your pursuits then I'll oblige. Was it you that was found with your pants down watching your favourite cartoon yelling at the shopkeeper for the changing of the channel say to your self: "Be still my beating off" well it may be inappropriate for someone in your position as a cop to satisfy yourself at the local blue light disco say to yourself: "Be still my beating off" there's no crime when you choose your time and your place to masturbate in a public place you will be disgraced, it's your right to choose whether or not you want to be on the news. Well I'm sure the judge will look lightly on your case considering I saw him earlier at the footy having a quick one off the wrist then say to yourself: "Be still my beating off" 7. I Hate My Brain ------------------------------------------------------------ Some people say that your brain is a product if I bought it today I would take it back tomorrow So many defects and faults sometimes I wish I didn't need one at all because I hate my brain. When ignorance gets a hold of your neurons then it's not hard to be tempted by its bliss its easy to get annoyed when you focus on one thing until it almost disappears. I hate my brain. Some people say that your brain is your master not your mind or your soul, it is what you have to follow, I guess I'll try to find some common ground so we can get along. I said: I hate my brain. 8. The Ballad Of Tim Webster ------------------------------------------------------------ Time for our play of the day, and it's a case of being torn between two loves - an age-old problem: What comes first, the beer or the ball? You remind me of a god you are my hero An authority on all and sundry, it's remarkable your depth of knowledge but there's something wrong with your eyes. What are they protecting you from There's something wrong with your eyelids. Very politically incorrect, but very funny. 9. U.S.Anus ------------------------------------------------------------ Well we live in a nation where Nike shoes and Pepsi cans are breeding like cancerous cells It's not hard to believe it and it's hard to ignore it when our governments get on so well, well well.... U.S.Anus If you don't want to face it then you'll have to embrace it like the virus of that big golden sign. It's the great open market if we're good we'll get rewarded with some lunch money and a chance to buy, we've got to buy or say good-bye. U.S.Anus When we go down, down, down, to that distinctive sound of the universe when ready to blow we can be safe in the knowledge of that flag saluting prosecution 'cause we'll almost be the first to go, the first to go U.S.Anus 10. Constable Care ------------------------------------------------------------ I thought you were by my side before I had to run and hide from the caring constabulary they're there to protect you and me How can you be justified making money from people's lives we don't believe in what you say you broke my arm/legs but that's O.K. I got the fuck kicked out of me by constable care 11. (That's) Just Not Legal ------------------------------------------------------------ I turn on the T.V. as switch off my head It's almost like bad fiction I have already read, well I think I'll come around and shoot your parents instead. But then I'd go to gaol and I don't like being cooped up inside. I may have lost my self-respect but I've still got my pride. I would steal a car but I don't know how to drive. The common law that binds us and that keeps us in place Is often misconstrued as a god-awful waste And it starts to unwind with a kick in the face. Legal. That's just not. I would take a cricket bat to a jewellery store That's if I had a spine and it was within the law I would give you the keys to the whole shopping mall. I would take a cash machine and run down the street That's if I had some muscles and was quick on my feet I'm afraid it's a fact that I'm inherently weak And that's just not legal. I turn on the T.V. as I switch of my head I wonder should I go out or just rot here in bed or I could burn down a school just to show that I cared Senseless acts of violence are not really my game I'm much too scared of getting caught or even worse-maimed and to swim with no arms well it's just not the same. That's just not legal. 12. Hakimashita ------------------------------------------------------------ I have been feeling below par and I can not even find the green I'm feeling under the weather That is to say it's on top of me. I don't feel good today I can't help it anyway. I can not help my emissions even if maybe they're a social faux pas gastronomical extradition's I shouldn't have spent all my time in the bar. Hakimashita, I've soiled myself again. My stomachs subsiding it's about time I'm thinking of returning to duty now Hang on I'm sure that's such a good idea I might return to the bowl, I don't feel good today I can't help it anyway Hakimashita. Language has never been much a barrier when it applies to this There's not many misunderstandings that arise following a vomit kiss. 13. Genitals Are Funny ------------------------------------------------------------ There are some things in nature like giraffes when they're having sex that are so funny, it's plain to see. Some people take offence but my friend Darwin agrees with me that god has no might and science is right. And we're supposedly on top of the evolutionary scale most things seem to have them from an insect to a whale. Genitals are funny, they're so funny. Some people of the moral christian right they fail to see the joke when adam and eve removed their fig leaves. The holocaust would have turned out incredibly differently if on that dark night Hitler was pantsed on sight. And if you can't understand or read the humour in what I just wrote why don't you take a long hard look at some testes or a scrote (um) Genitals are funny, they're so funny. [Middle bit] Some folk amusement from the telling of sexest jokes, they think they're a clown while they put people down. Why is it that what we're born with is perceived as awfully crude, would anything be rude if we were always nude. It's the great equaliser, it renders us the same and there's nothing quite as humorous as pushing up the brain. Genitals are funny, they're so funny 14. All Your Friends ------------------------------------------------------------ Kicking & fighting that's what you know, the way you're treated only goes to show. That your popularity is all in your head, it's in your head. No-one came round to your house today, the phone doesn't ring, you think that's O.K. It must be the weather or they had to go & visit their grand mother instead. All your friends think you're a fuckhead A good paranoia is what you lack Your friends always talking behind your back. Of course it has nothing to do with the simple fact that nothing you say is of any worth. There's always a challenge to see who leaves first. Someone should tell you but we're all way too afraid, to say that All your friends think you're a fuckhead You thought that they were friends that you would never lose, why you're so charismatic when you're on the booze Sometimes your friends behaviour is so difficult to excuse. To pay your bills on time well that wouldn't do, You don't take your library books 'till they're overdue-It's the only way that you will ever get a letter to come to you- All your friends think you're a fuckhead. 15. Beaded Curtains (Part Two) ------------------------------------------------------------ 16. Beaded Curtains (Part Three) ------------------------------------------------------------ 17. Guns Don't Kill Ducklings (Ducklings Kill Ducklings) ------------------------------------------------------------ When you see that feathered friend better get out of the way, especially if they're packing a piece better arm yourself today. It's us or them have to stop them in their tracks, Always keep watching your back. It's time to kill not a time to die so load your weapons now, There's a dark cloud on the skyline better shoot those suckers down. They're out to get you, you'd better be first. Give them what they deserve. Guns don't kill duckling, ducklings kill ducklings Stop them all they will destroy our whole society, Guns don't kill duckling, ducklings kill ducklings they're the biggest threat to your masculinity. It's not a sport if the other team doesn't want to play. Need to lend a helping gun don't let them get away. Pick on someone with a limited I.Q. start shooting at someone like you. Guns etc. They're here to start the fight look in your sights what do you see? Is it the innocence you call the enemy or is it a sad reflection on your capacity to deal with your fucked up inbred violent tendencies. 18. You Can't Move Into My House ------------------------------------------------------------ Hope you don't think I'm rude Fuck You Hope you don't think I'm precious Fuck You Hope you see I'm well adjusted: I can't stand the sight of you Don't wanna be startin somethin Don't want to antagonise, All I said was something simple: I can't stand the sight of you, I can't stand the sight of you. Don't believe, don't believe the words I don't believe all the things I've heard about you. I will be saying this in your defense: I'd rather eat a fridge full of arses than know you. And I've tried with all my might to see past all you failing but I've failed to give a fuck You're a fuck-up, you're a joke, You're a clown, take your pants down, Get fucked you fucking fuckwit no you can't move into my house. With a range of ethics that are quite perverse You're sitting in the centre of your own universe Not content to sit upon the fence, you'll fall either way ignoring common sense I look into your eyes and seen a haze of your twisted sensibilities and little saving grace. [Chorus] I believe, I believe the words, of your best friend when he likened you to a steaming turd. And when he said he wished that you were dead, It was the most intelligent thing that anyone's ever said. And I've tried with all my might to see past all your failings but I failed to give a fuck. [Chorus ad nauseum] https://frenzalrhomb.net