Postcard From Frenzal Rhomb Shock Records
5/11/1998
Hi to all our friends old and new at Shock Records,
Well we finally made it back to ‘straya safe and sound.
We had an unreal time in the United States Of America on the Vans Warped Tour and playing with Reel Big Fish. Spent some time hanging out with the Blue Meanies in Chicago, synchronised our livers, threw a brick through Billy Corgan’s front window and drank Schlitz ($1.99 for a six pack) in Billy Spunke’s new speakeasy bar, which is located underground.
That is, underneath his apartment. The speakeasy was built by Puerto Ricans during the prohibition days and we put it to good use by gambling on the outcome of a fight between Gordy and Lindsay. Everyone won of course, as no one bet on Lindsay, who is not really the fighting type. About two thirds of the new album is recorded and is being produced by Eddie Ashworth who has worked with Pennywise, Sublime and just finished the new Long Island Beach Dub Allstars album.
He also worked on a record by Japanese band Eastern Youth. We want them to come out and tour with us so please someone in the International Department get in touch with Toys Factory and release the album locally. It’s a bloody clanger (in the most positive and finest sense of the word). Eddie’s coming over here to finish recording and mixing the album in January, with luck there will be a new single in February. Depending on the legal ramifications we might include some of the polaroids from our trip in the artwork on the new album.
We caught up with Fletcher as Pennywise very kindly lent us their rehearsal space in Redondo Beach, they just finished recording their new album and it sounds awesome, it’s all hits. Fletcher bet us that if our new album doesn’t go platinum he’ll give us $1,000. If it does go platinum though we have to give him $1,000 each but he figures that’s fair because by then we’ll be able to afford it. Either way we lose. His favourite song is "Gee Bob, I Really Miss My Lung".
Our night with Fletcher only cost us $50 in hotel damages and a scolding from the cleaner for "defecating on the bible" (she actually meant desecrating but for the most part Americans are a stupid people).
As Jay later explained it was the only thing in the room he could digest.
Gambling seemed to be the main theme of the tour and we set up our own Frenzal Rhomb Travelling Casino in the van using Lex’s skateboard as the gaming table and substituting real money, of which we had none, with Frenzal Rhomb Dollars, of which we had thousands. Lex won over FR$40,000 but based on today’s exchange rates he’ll probably never get paid.
Poverty did not stop Dr. Lindemans from using his only asset, his looks, to earn his drinking money and he prostituted himself at every opportunity with a special offer of "one quarter for 20 seconds". For 25 cents you could do whatever you wanted to or with Dr. L from the immoral to the illegal. Age was not a barrier either.
Lindsay is nothing but a common street hooker. Our newest member Gordy was appalled by the Frenzal Rhomb touring experience and threatened to leave the band on several occasions, he amused himself by disfiguring his body and trying to get enough tattoos to be tough enough to join Toe To Toe. By now you should all have heard "Mongrel" which is pretty indicative of our current standard of playing, hopefully it won’t put you off coming to see us sometime over the next couple of months.
Our motto, inspired by our idol Billy Spunke, remains intact "there’s credibility in losing it all". Spunke, incidentally, has written a song called "The Corpse" about our sound guy (who was held up at gunpoint in Baltimore – Jesus, it was just like NYPD Blue! He says they just stopped him in the street, we’ll let you be the judge).
See you soon.
Love from,
FRENZAL RHOMB XX00
p.s. this is where you can see us over Summer:
- Sat 27th Dec – Glenworth Valley Festival
- Wed 30th Dec – The Falls Festival, Lorne
- Thurs 31st Dec – Davies Park News Years Concert, Brisbane
- Sat 2nd Jan – Settlers Tavern, Margaret River
- Sun 3rd Jan – Mudslinger Festival, Perth (over 18’s)
- Mon 4th Jan – Mudslinger Festival, Perth (all ages)