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Smoko At The Pet Food Factory (2011)

Album image 1 Album image 2 Album image 3
1. Bird Attack (1:14) Back to tracklist

Bird attack, bird attack
It's a bird attack, bird attack
Bird attack!

Magpie!
Seagull!
Ibis!

Eye's drawn!
Ice cream!
Helmet!

Bird attack, bird attack
It's a bird attack, bird attack
Bird attack!

2. Mummy Doesn't Know You're A Nazi (1:23) Back to tracklist

I've seen your type before,
Thankful I don't have to see you anymore.
Not unless I'm looking through the window pane
At you goose-stepping around your room again.
You better keep it down.

Because your mummy doesn't know that you're a Nazi,
Your mummy doesn't know about the national front.
She doesn't know that you're a Nazi,
You're sitting in your room being a Nazi cunt

No I've never met someone so full of hate,
It's a wonder you've got time to masturbate
Over images of men in uniforms,
And you better keep an ear out for the door
Cause dinner could be ready.

Because your mummy doesn't know that you're a Nazi,
Your mummy doesn't know about the national front.
She doesn't know that you're a Nazi,
You're sitting in your room being a Nazi cunt

NAZI CUNT!

3. 5000 Cigarettes (1:40) Back to tracklist

8 miles of nothing and a hundred tonnes of will to survive,
Can't se the devil so you know that your still alive,
There's nothing out here but the sun so fuck up and drive

And I've got 5000 cigarettes in the back of the car,
We've gotta move'em now or we won't get far,
Sleeping on the dirt with the shooting stars.
A little sleight of hand,
A little contraband.

There's carcass on the bumper bar there's blood on the glass,
Picked up a problem and we're gonna lose him fast
This is the best day on earth but it could be the last

And I've got 5000 cigarettes in the back of the car,
We've gotta move'em now or we won't get far,
Sleeping on the dirt with the shooting stars.
A little sleight of hand,
A little contraband and desert sand.

4. Cockroach Lightswitch (1:26) Back to tracklist

I stumble through the darkness
Still sunken half unconsciousness
My muscles take direction
From no one else but themselves,
They take extreme exception,
To this new kind of hell.

Cockroach on the lightswitch
Cockroach on the lightswitch
It's a cockroach lightswitch
Cockroach on the lightswitch
Cockroach on the lightswitch

And I prayed this'd never happen,
Even in my darkest dreams.
And now I'm on a punitive mission,
My night will never be the same.
Now this lifelong trauma's
Imprinted on my brain.

Cockroach on the lightswitch
Cockroach on the lightswitch
It's a cockroach lightswitch
Cockroach on the lightswitch
Cockroach on the lightswitch

My muscels take direction
From no one else but themselves,
They take extreme exception,
To this new kind of hell.

Cockroach on the lightswitch
Cockroach on the lightswitch
It's a cockroach lightswitch
Cockroach on the lightswitch
Cockroach on the lightswitch

5. Knuckleheads (2:17) Back to tracklist

I like football
As much as the next guy,
But fuck all of those,
Those rapist meat-boys.
Some animals are
Much better than that

And everytime we meet it ends up in strife
You fucks have been my enemy my whole fucking life
And I'll never make amends,
And you were always not my friend,
You fuckin' knuckleheads.
(Knuckleheads)
You fuckin' knuckleheads.

But he's one of the good guys,
And all's forgiven.
Just keep your head down
Crucifixion
Is better than that...

And everytime we meet it ends up in strife,
You fucks have been my enemy my whole fucking life.
And I'll never make amends,
And you were always not my friend,
You fuckin' knuckleheads.

And everytime we meet it ends up in strife,
You fucks have been my enemy my whole fucking life.
And I'll never make amends,
And you were always not my friend,
You fuckin' knuckleheads.
(Knuckleheads)
You fuckin' knuckleheads.
(Knuckleheads)
You fuckin' knuckleheads.
(Knuckleheads)
You fuckin' knuckleheads.

6. Just Because It's Soap Doesn't Mean It's Clean (1:36) Back to tracklist

When I was 11 I pretended I was sick
To avoid the shining stars and all their hidden violent tricks
I still don't believe anything I read
Just because it's soap...
I never had to suffer at the hands of chosen ones
To confront the load Samaritan who made the children run
I've never had to get down on my knees

Just because it's soap doesn't mean it's clean

One night I had to walk the corridors covered in blood
Things on in the cubicle cause now I understood
Eleven bucks a night not worth the scene

Just because it's soap doesn't mean it's clean

I was arrested at 15 again at 21
Add one more humiliation from those violent fucks with guns
Careful not to let the bruises bleed

Just because it's soap doesn't mean it's clean

7. My Dearest Friend (0:54) Back to tracklist

You are my one and only dearest friend,
and we'll keep each other's secrets 'til the bitter end.
You are my one and only dearest friend,
and I never wanna see your stupid face again.

8. Back To The Suburbs (2:09) Back to tracklist

Singing some stupid hate songs,
in my mind I can hear them now.
Braces on 40 year faces,
in my mind I can see them now.
And you wanted to by some action
but it was a bit too loud.

Move back to the suburbs with me
my dear, we'll make a new home
full of warmth and cheer.
'Cause to many arseholes
have moved in here.
Move back to the suburbs.

Prizes for advertising,
in my mind I can see them now.
Poseurs speak down their noses,
in my mind I can hear them now.
I'm gonna flick a match over
my shoulder as I leave this town

Move back to the suburbs with me
my dear, we'll make a new home
full of warmth and cheer.
'Cause to many arseholes
have moved in here.
Move back to the suburbs.

I'm gonna flick a match over
my shoulder as I leave this town
Move back to the suburbs with me
my dear, we'll make a new home
full of warmth and cheer.
'Cause to many arseholes
have moved in here.
Move back to the suburbs.

Move Back To the Suburbs. [x4]

9. Edward Sausage Fangs (2:32) Back to tracklist

Monday's on,
the dark hour is gone,
tears of blood washed
away to be here.
Order's up,
the life blood is sucked...
from the soul of Nosferatu.

I feel a cold chill through
the shimmering heat,
it's hard to maintain
the gloom when you're pushing
the meat-lover's through.

The only goth in the pizza shop.
Twilight, this harsh light,
it burns, Live sacrifice,
2 for 1 and a free coke.

I see your black eyes
through the shimmering heat,
you look like My Dying Bride
with a nametag that says
"Hi, I'm Steve".
The only goth in the pizza shop.

AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

Had enough, the black moon is up.
Prince of dark
will unleash his vengeance.
Now little Stevie's had a change of luck,
and he was right all along,
working in retail sucks.
I see the fury and the lust for blood,
I sense a hint of a smile
now there's finally
something to eat.
The only goth in the pizza shop.

10. Alvarez (1:47) Back to tracklist

I can't remember
giving us your bass
or lending us your truck.
And I can't recall
you handing out the pills
that got us so fucked up.
And when we reminisce
about the good times
and the poor,
the only two things
through the haze are
passing in a bottle and Karl

Alvarez, Alvarez, Alvarez [x2]

We danced all through the night
and drank champagne with the stars.
Oh hang on just a minute,
now I'm living someone else's past!
Apparently you took us to a bar
with toys in it,
I hope we had a good time
'cause I can't remember shit except for

Alvarez, Alvarez, Alvarez [x3]
Karl Alvarez

And in the dead of night,
in the silence of my room
with the history of the world
going round and round in circles.
Nothing of my best friends
or my enemies at all.
Nothing but a sense
of being hungry and
a memory of Karl

Alvarez, Alvarez, Alvarez [x2]
Karl Alvarez
Alvarez, Alvarez, Alvarez

11. Hungry Jacks Carpark (1:47) Back to tracklist

I'm on another planet,
it could've been 'round June.
And she's face down in the oil stain,
of a lowered Subaru.
And she's turning cold,
at 15 years old,
taking too much slow,
mind's gone out to sea
on the P&O,
don't know what to do,
rotten shade of blue.
Another case of
"stupid is as stupid does".

At 45 his better angel
has been shot
right through the head.
But he sure knows how to
throw a party,
blue fluorescent flashing overhead.

And they're doing smack,
outside Hungry Jacks, Sunday 8am,
I want more for them
than an ambulance,
and a value meal, $120 deal.
Another case of
"stupid is as stupid does".

And she's turning cold
at 15 years old,
taking too much slow,
Another case of
"stupid is as stupid does".
Don't know what to do,
rotten shade of blue
Another case of
"stupid is as stupid does". [x3]

12. Snouts In The Trough (1:27) Back to tracklist

Well I try not to be part
of the destruction of the sun,
I only need a little piece
to get the washing done.
A handshake and a backslap,
I will never pretend,
bent lawyers & prostitutes
your only friends.

And I'm watching from a distance
from outside of the pen.
With your snouts in the trough.
You spend your whole life
thinking that your something
that you're not.
"It's guys like you
been fucking guys like me, or what?"

The jury has acquitted your arse
time and time again,
those glory days are gone.
you thought they'd never end!

And I'm watching the destruction
from outside of the pen.
With your snouts in the trough.
now I wanna get off,
obnoxious and boring,
still trying to act tough.
And you bought the market,
you still got your
snouts in the trough.

Now it's coming all undone
the cracks are bigger
than your heads,
the piss that runs downhill
will hit your mouths instead.
It's time for retribution,
watch the fuckers burn and then,
WE'LL PICK UP ALL THE PIECES
AND WE'LL WATCH THEM BURN AGAIN.

13. Dead Celebrity (1:52) Back to tracklist

I'd live in diamond mansions
if I could.
I want my own private jet,
I know I should.
But I'll never buy my kids
from Africa or Ukraine,
and I'll never understand this
If I lived my whole life again.

I'm not gonna wake up with a dead celebrity,
and I'll never pay up
to the Church of Scientology.
I won't have to face up
to the cameras at the door,
pills on the floor.

And I'll suffer at the hands
of born-agains,
and get punished
by a fan with old dog breath.
But then I'd never feel
the warm embrace of the pouring rain,
or carry my dog in a handbag
cause that is patently insane.

I'm not gonna wake up with a dead celebrity,
and I'll never pay up
to the Church of Scientology.
I won't have to face up
to the cameras at the door,
pills on the floor. [x3]

14. Metrognome (1:22) Back to tracklist

And when he drinks he always says
"Le' chaim", he often stays in time,
unless he's gotten really blind
and that's when shit
gets weird sometimes.

And I'm convinced of his tendencies
to spend the night on his knees.
He's got some massive kegs
but only in relation to his legs.

We all know he's cancer-prone,
like Macauly Culkin in Home Alone,
looks like he's standing
but he's on his throne
Yeah he's the fucken Metro Gnome

And yeah he really likes to play the tubs,
but he only wants to play in pubs.
He helped me write this stupid song,
he likes monkeys like King Kong.

We all know he's cancer-prone,
like Macauly Culkin in Home Alone,
looks like he's standing
but he's on his throne
Yeah he's the fucken Metro Gnome

He likes to bitch and moan,
won't Lindsay play trombone,
got no hair don't need no comb,
but he's the fucken Metro Gnome.
He's the Metro Gnome,
hates retro, not hetro.
We won't let go...HOME!

15. When My Baby Smiles At Me I Go To Rehab (1:03) Back to tracklist

Well I had 1000 Ways
to get through 100 days
and not one of them is good,
that's what I've done.
A beacon in the dark,
drinking whiskey in the park,
underneath the blazing unrelenting sun

but when my baby,
when my baby smiles at me
I go to rehab [x2]

I'm always in the race
to be first out of my face,
change I know I should,
I know I must.
But I couldn't care less
when I regain consciousness
and I'm standing upright,
naked on the bus

but when my baby,
when my baby smiles at me
I go to rehab [x4]

16. The Rude Tourist (2:10) Back to tracklist

The cunt in every Country,
he's the Western World winner.
His words can start a war,
but we're just ordering dinner.
And we're all getting thinner.

Whoa it's such a shame,
the moment we get off the plane,
it's nothing to hide
and a ticket to ride,
potentially try to explain.

It's just you and the rude tourist,
and he's finding
the way to go home (insulting in every timezone).
He's the rude tourist, all alone.

Unwanted traveller,
seeking out local knowledge.
He doesn't care,
'cause he can swear in every language.
I just want a fucking sandwich.

Whoa he's your best friend,
stick together 'til the end.
Until the visa runs out
this is all heading South,
but there's still time to pretend.

It's just you and the rude tourist,
and he's finding
the way to go home (insulting in every timezone).
He's the rude tourist, all alone. [x3]

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